Ogri Bash 2006
Rally Review by Rod Lawless
(photos to follow)
With a name like mine it's easy to see why the cops in the 70's paid me so much attention. Regularly. Ok, so maybe some of it was founded but I am anything but lawless these days. I can't even tell a lie. Maybe that is why so many of you believe me when I say this is a great rally and that you need to get your tickets early. I must be quite convincing as you buggers snatched up the whole lot. The full quota of 900 tickets went within the first month of being on sale. The slow and feeble just can't keep up. That means me.
Rest assured that this year the sun didn't come out once. It rained; gales and thunder blasted the three foot deep muddy site till the snow came in. It was miserable. The bands were crap, the beer ran out Friday morning and the breakfast was soggy and cold. Farmers beat up anyone who wasn't in the Ogri MCC and you had to shit in a bucket, which was then served up in the burger wagon. All in all, totally crap. Next year is going to be even worse so you shouldn't even consider going. If you do decide to go, leave it till the last minute till you order your tickets and then send one back.
Luckily, sometimes people have to cancel for one reason or another and Bowser managed to scrape a couple together for me. Excellent… at least it would be if it wasn't such a crappy do. You certainly don't want to attend this rally, oh no.
Ok, I can't keep this up. Yet again it was so good that I awoke Saturday morning and wondered where the hell I was until I realised I had misplaced Friday. As I'm writing this, all I can go on is what people have told me. As this is Sunday afternoon I still feel like I have been drunk in the same way that water is drunk. What is it about alcohol and journalism? They go hand in hand yet don't really mix. Bowser had told me it was a 24-hour bar so it seemed I tested that. It also seemed that I was testing other things as my mate told me I had better go and apologise to a bunch of people before I get banned from returning. Luckily that was a wind up and all I had done was dance around a bit. I think?!? (Although I was probably just trying to stay upright.) Hardly surprising really as the band line up for the whole weekend surpassed expectations.
There are many talented folk in the Ogri MCC and Friday started off with Pete and his band, SeBORGiUM, lashing out some great music. They were followed by Downsize for their first biker gig and then last years up and coming band, Fallen Ground. As Pete pointed out these guys will go far and of that I have no doubt. The night was finished off nicely by the ever-impressive Mick Rutherford who is well known on the biker circuit and my mates favourite band from many years of the Ogri. Luckily I have some photo's and a line up poster to remind me of all that.
After finding out how ridiculously hungry the partygoers were, they had eaten everything on site, (Probably the same people who bought all the tickets. Erm?) we nipped down to the Plough in Crudwell for a spot of country brunch. For those that brought their own food that wasn't a problem. (Unless they packed their tin of chilli on top of the exhaust pipe to find it burst in the pannier. That was lucky wasn't it, Jane?) It was then a dash back to catch the silly games. There are two types of people who watch the silly games. Those that want to have a go but don't and those that don't want to have a go but do. Nutty from the Sisterhood wanted to have a go but didn't have a change of clothes so the floured balloon popping contest was right out for her. She did do a bit of barrel hurling later though. As for the others who opted for the flouring I don't think they were ready for the water to be added. As for the water from the heavens it only decided to try it's hand when Stevie was giving it some with his mandolin. A quick shuffle backwards brought him into the tent but left some of his audience outside. It seemed that the heavens only wanted Stevie, as that was the only bit of rain we had and the sun came out properly for the custom show. Yet the forecast had been much worse, so we were lucky. (Seeing as he didn't have any of his cd's with him if you want a copy of his new one you can get it at http://www.stevie.me.uk/)
Voltage - Unplugged (With another member of the Ogri, in fact Vice President Steve, AKA the Zeus.) brought forth the entertainment for the rest of the afternoon and only got a slight reprimand for launching into an Osmonds track before belting back into the varied rock they do so well. The track, 'Sarah's got a big shirt full' seemed to go down a storm with everyone. Even Sarah. "£80 on a pair of shoes, you could at least shake your tits at me." Quipped the lead singer before apologising that he said that out loud. Martin then decided to give the lads a break as he ferried in a bag piper to blast out some Scottish song. Ah well, all in jest.
Paul Bailey was back with the jet trike with one close call as communications went awry we nearly had a trike / security car interface situation. I don't care how tough you are if you have a jet running straight at you you do tend to mouth the words "Oh Ffff". Not sure how Babs felt as she asked to be taken pillion. Foolish girl.
One thing that led to a bit of confusion was the layout of the marquee. It had been turned around this year so the bands were at the opposite end from previous years. This gave the distinctly strange impression that the bar was at the other end. Obviously I intended to watch the bands but ended up at the bar every time. Maybe my decision to start drinking late afternoon was not such a good one as, although I think I heard the bands and probably shuffled around a bit nearly in time to the music I didn't get to see as many as I had hoped or as I would have if I wasn't going off on one. It wasn't till the Noddy Holder alike was piped into the marquee for 'Slayed' that I realised this was the last band on and what happened to the others? (The poster informs me they were the `Jack Daniels Experience` and I know they are good. Sick and Twisted, they're good too and the Corsairs. Well, they've got to be good.) I must have been taking pictures and doing my public relations bit. I do remember that Fallen Ground front man, Spencer found his own bit of ground to fall on as he had been necking it all afternoon. Slymer and I took him under our wing to keep an eye on his drunkenness and try to keep up with him. I also remember getting 'pinked up' (i.e. a beard and hair colouring from a can). by the 'Dying Breed' guys as I went to the bar. Some Scottish guys reckoned I was Billy Connolly in the flesh, which was quite the topical thing to do seeing as there were bag pipers all over the place.
There were also a lot of people dressing up as things. Some dressed as cowboys and Indians although I suspect one got his lines crossed when he turned up as Ghandi. I also seem to remember that I tried to drink out of my camera, offered Mrs. L some 'alphabetical cement', which she understood to be paracetamol, and had a piss in the shape of Snowy, Tin Tin's dog. I can handle this Cider, nothing to it.
The rally virgins really seemed to enjoy their initiation ceremony with only one getting away scot-free. Amy is only five weeks old and a little too young for that sort of shenanigan.
Terri and Dave from the Nabd stall had a successful evening and overall took £300 for the charity. Well done everyone who dug deep either at the stall or in the tent. Also big cheques were handed to the Red Cross for £1,170, the Bath TA Centre for £250 and B.E.W.S.A. (?) for £1,000
Ok, this year it took me five months to get my tickets, which can be a little disconcerting. Please, take my advice and don't go next year even if this is the best small rally out there.
Incoherent words (and blurred photos in no particular order - to follow?) by Rod Lawless
PS, I'm really glad Monday was a bank holiday.
main news page
(photos to follow)
With a name like mine it's easy to see why the cops in the 70's paid me so much attention. Regularly. Ok, so maybe some of it was founded but I am anything but lawless these days. I can't even tell a lie. Maybe that is why so many of you believe me when I say this is a great rally and that you need to get your tickets early. I must be quite convincing as you buggers snatched up the whole lot. The full quota of 900 tickets went within the first month of being on sale. The slow and feeble just can't keep up. That means me.
Rest assured that this year the sun didn't come out once. It rained; gales and thunder blasted the three foot deep muddy site till the snow came in. It was miserable. The bands were crap, the beer ran out Friday morning and the breakfast was soggy and cold. Farmers beat up anyone who wasn't in the Ogri MCC and you had to shit in a bucket, which was then served up in the burger wagon. All in all, totally crap. Next year is going to be even worse so you shouldn't even consider going. If you do decide to go, leave it till the last minute till you order your tickets and then send one back.
Luckily, sometimes people have to cancel for one reason or another and Bowser managed to scrape a couple together for me. Excellent… at least it would be if it wasn't such a crappy do. You certainly don't want to attend this rally, oh no.
Ok, I can't keep this up. Yet again it was so good that I awoke Saturday morning and wondered where the hell I was until I realised I had misplaced Friday. As I'm writing this, all I can go on is what people have told me. As this is Sunday afternoon I still feel like I have been drunk in the same way that water is drunk. What is it about alcohol and journalism? They go hand in hand yet don't really mix. Bowser had told me it was a 24-hour bar so it seemed I tested that. It also seemed that I was testing other things as my mate told me I had better go and apologise to a bunch of people before I get banned from returning. Luckily that was a wind up and all I had done was dance around a bit. I think?!? (Although I was probably just trying to stay upright.) Hardly surprising really as the band line up for the whole weekend surpassed expectations.
There are many talented folk in the Ogri MCC and Friday started off with Pete and his band, SeBORGiUM, lashing out some great music. They were followed by Downsize for their first biker gig and then last years up and coming band, Fallen Ground. As Pete pointed out these guys will go far and of that I have no doubt. The night was finished off nicely by the ever-impressive Mick Rutherford who is well known on the biker circuit and my mates favourite band from many years of the Ogri. Luckily I have some photo's and a line up poster to remind me of all that.
After finding out how ridiculously hungry the partygoers were, they had eaten everything on site, (Probably the same people who bought all the tickets. Erm?) we nipped down to the Plough in Crudwell for a spot of country brunch. For those that brought their own food that wasn't a problem. (Unless they packed their tin of chilli on top of the exhaust pipe to find it burst in the pannier. That was lucky wasn't it, Jane?) It was then a dash back to catch the silly games. There are two types of people who watch the silly games. Those that want to have a go but don't and those that don't want to have a go but do. Nutty from the Sisterhood wanted to have a go but didn't have a change of clothes so the floured balloon popping contest was right out for her. She did do a bit of barrel hurling later though. As for the others who opted for the flouring I don't think they were ready for the water to be added. As for the water from the heavens it only decided to try it's hand when Stevie was giving it some with his mandolin. A quick shuffle backwards brought him into the tent but left some of his audience outside. It seemed that the heavens only wanted Stevie, as that was the only bit of rain we had and the sun came out properly for the custom show. Yet the forecast had been much worse, so we were lucky. (Seeing as he didn't have any of his cd's with him if you want a copy of his new one you can get it at http://www.stevie.me.uk/)
Voltage - Unplugged (With another member of the Ogri, in fact Vice President Steve, AKA the Zeus.) brought forth the entertainment for the rest of the afternoon and only got a slight reprimand for launching into an Osmonds track before belting back into the varied rock they do so well. The track, 'Sarah's got a big shirt full' seemed to go down a storm with everyone. Even Sarah. "£80 on a pair of shoes, you could at least shake your tits at me." Quipped the lead singer before apologising that he said that out loud. Martin then decided to give the lads a break as he ferried in a bag piper to blast out some Scottish song. Ah well, all in jest.
Paul Bailey was back with the jet trike with one close call as communications went awry we nearly had a trike / security car interface situation. I don't care how tough you are if you have a jet running straight at you you do tend to mouth the words "Oh Ffff". Not sure how Babs felt as she asked to be taken pillion. Foolish girl.
One thing that led to a bit of confusion was the layout of the marquee. It had been turned around this year so the bands were at the opposite end from previous years. This gave the distinctly strange impression that the bar was at the other end. Obviously I intended to watch the bands but ended up at the bar every time. Maybe my decision to start drinking late afternoon was not such a good one as, although I think I heard the bands and probably shuffled around a bit nearly in time to the music I didn't get to see as many as I had hoped or as I would have if I wasn't going off on one. It wasn't till the Noddy Holder alike was piped into the marquee for 'Slayed' that I realised this was the last band on and what happened to the others? (The poster informs me they were the `Jack Daniels Experience` and I know they are good. Sick and Twisted, they're good too and the Corsairs. Well, they've got to be good.) I must have been taking pictures and doing my public relations bit. I do remember that Fallen Ground front man, Spencer found his own bit of ground to fall on as he had been necking it all afternoon. Slymer and I took him under our wing to keep an eye on his drunkenness and try to keep up with him. I also remember getting 'pinked up' (i.e. a beard and hair colouring from a can). by the 'Dying Breed' guys as I went to the bar. Some Scottish guys reckoned I was Billy Connolly in the flesh, which was quite the topical thing to do seeing as there were bag pipers all over the place.
There were also a lot of people dressing up as things. Some dressed as cowboys and Indians although I suspect one got his lines crossed when he turned up as Ghandi. I also seem to remember that I tried to drink out of my camera, offered Mrs. L some 'alphabetical cement', which she understood to be paracetamol, and had a piss in the shape of Snowy, Tin Tin's dog. I can handle this Cider, nothing to it.
The rally virgins really seemed to enjoy their initiation ceremony with only one getting away scot-free. Amy is only five weeks old and a little too young for that sort of shenanigan.
Terri and Dave from the Nabd stall had a successful evening and overall took £300 for the charity. Well done everyone who dug deep either at the stall or in the tent. Also big cheques were handed to the Red Cross for £1,170, the Bath TA Centre for £250 and B.E.W.S.A. (?) for £1,000
Ok, this year it took me five months to get my tickets, which can be a little disconcerting. Please, take my advice and don't go next year even if this is the best small rally out there.
Incoherent words (and blurred photos in no particular order - to follow?) by Rod Lawless
PS, I'm really glad Monday was a bank holiday.
main news page